He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
