You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
