I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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