I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I showed him my bush... on skype.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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