just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
