It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
