she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
