i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
