I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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