U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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