So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
