bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
