the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
