i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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