He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
