i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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