The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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