I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
