The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
