Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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