dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
