What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
