If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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