i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
