i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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