I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize