Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
