I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize