have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
