What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
pray to the hookup gods
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
