I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
