Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
