This girl is more easily done than said...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
