I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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