My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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