tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
