Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
