Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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