There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
