you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
