and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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