He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
