i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
