I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
