Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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