My hair reeks of homosexuality.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
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