If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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