Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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