Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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