So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
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