And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
