Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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