Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
