Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
