You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
