I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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