theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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