it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
