Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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