My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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