He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize