He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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