I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
